Holyjeez

noun: a thing that ‘has four legs for a reason’ according to my granddad.

usage: Stop leaning back in that chair before you poke your eye out!

verb: to provide just enough rules to prevent accountability without preventing actual problems

usage: Good thing the government regulates my financial institution, otherwise I would feel bad about running this Ponzi scheme by fudging my financial reports.
see: Report

verb: to present false data as accurate to support a position
usage: “Dear Bank of America, please report to me the huge improvement you have made from last quarter to this quarter to convince the public that our bailout is working, Sincerely U.S. Gov’t”