Congratulations You Suck – Part 3

So I forgot to post this after I wrote it.  Pretend like you are reading it two weeks ago.

Given the Broncos vs. Patriots playoff football game that just happened, I figured now was the right time for my third installment of ‘Congratulations, You suck!’

You probably think this is about Tim Tebow.  Surprisingly, it kind of isn’t, and here is why.  When it comes to skill, Tim Tebow isn’t as good at football as some other people, but I also never hear him claim that he is.  All I see is him working hard to get better (plus a little jesus-y showboating).

Nope, this installment is about media and belief in a mystical higher power.

Example one:

Congratulations you suck, but because you attribute your partial success to a higher power, you will be the news story.  Do you know the main reason a decent portion of the public hates Tebow?  Because reporters won’t shut the fuck up about him.  If they didn’t bring up the ‘Jesus’ angle all of the time, you would hear his name exactly as often as you hear Colt McCoy’s.  Sure, Tebow is a nice guy, he works hard, is charitable, etc.  Do you know where that would make a great story?  Not on Sportscenter.  Just like people watching Oxygen or the Jesus Channel expect their shows to not have main characters who are good at football but hate women/religion, I expect my sports channels to not have main characters who suck at their sport but are great at Christianity.

Example 2

Congratulations you suck, but I want to believe god helps you, so you are probably awesome. It is pretty easy for me to tangent this into a generic religion argument, but I’ll try and stay more focused.  When the Broncos started winning, my social network feeds turned into angel farts and Jesus kisses for Tebow.  Those people are the reason the reporters behaved like they did — pandering to the audience.  However, when they lost, and badly, it turned into excuses and “Leave Tebow alone, he’s better than you”.  Yep, he is better than me, in a lot of ways — especially ways Christians value, like worshiping god or attributing success to a higher power.  He’s also better than me at football.  But, I’m not in the NFL, I develop software (probably better than him).  Also, you know who he isn’t better than?  Tom Brady.  That game was a classic example of how, no matter how hard you want to believe, quality actions will consistently beat prayers and wishes.  Or in simpler terms “Wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which fills up first.”

So, just to wrap up, here are some facts.  Tim Tebow is a low quality NFL quarterback.  Attributing things to a higher power when they go right, but making excuses when they go wrong is hypocritical.  Thinking a higher power exists that created the whole universe (but also gives a shit about a football game) is annoying.

 

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